She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
