I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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