so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it was like eating out sand paper
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
