I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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