I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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