Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
