i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
