using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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