ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
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you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize