so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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