fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize