Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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