About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
