I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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