Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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