P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
