she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
