she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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