Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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