I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
