YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
high people should be assigned attendants
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
