You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
