I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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