maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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