she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
