I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Threesome in a minivan. New low
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
