It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
