I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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