you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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