When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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