Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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