don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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