The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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