That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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