You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
