She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
