It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
