I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
