I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
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