If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
