what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
