You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i think my cat just said my name.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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