dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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