I think i peed on brittanys purse
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
