ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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