he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
