Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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