i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
