Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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