you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
