Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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