i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
