i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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