Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Mom said you looked used
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
