I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
