Got a toothbrush?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
