he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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