I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
