Tell her she can't have a vagina
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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