i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
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Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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