In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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