belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
