we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
