ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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